i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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