you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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