I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
