I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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