her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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