Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
