we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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