a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
