omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Holy sore nipples Batman
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
