I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
