I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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