the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize