; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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