Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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