Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
