We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
