You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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