he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
