just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize