you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
