I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
whose parrot is this?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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