Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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