Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
