where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
