wat bout pragnant strippers??
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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