Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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