im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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