:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
dude. I can hear the air.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
