Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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