I heard we made out
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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