If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
