I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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