addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize