Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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