just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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