I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
