i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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