you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
