I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
