Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
