i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
