you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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