Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
