just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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