Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Less talking, more tequila
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
