walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
