I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
