You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize