Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
