so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
