What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
