She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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