I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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