just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
