So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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