She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Someone came in the potted fern
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
