Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
