What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
