Im at strip club and am horny
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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